Surgery is Scheduled

Dear Diary,

I had a wonderful breakfast with my family Sunday 9/18/11 –strawberry waffles with whipped cream-- if you are curious.  (Hey, that could be important for my future book. Haha)  On our way home we stopped at the post office to check our mail.  There were a couple of envelopes that came from the Big Hospital!  I opened them not expecting to find the next few weeks of my life all planned out in black and white.  my long awaited surgery will be Oct 27.  I opened one envelope and found a list of my upcoming medical appointments.  There are three medical appointments before surgery and one after all have been made.   When I read those dates tears came to my eyes.  Finally! I can plan my life, and hopefully enjoy my life after surgery-maybe even a little before it arrives.  I feel like reinventing myself.  I will be the girl with energy, no pain, and a new lease on life so to speak!  Look out world, ready or not, here I come!  I will be unstoppable.  Eventually.  

Is Sheri Afraid?

People will ask me if I am afraid.  The answer today is no.  This can and will most likely change as the date gets closer.  Having been through IVF, and two other surgeries prior to my second pregnancy. I feel prepared for this and I hear that the Big Hospital has good food!

What About the Children?

My fear now consists of child care issues.  I will not be able to lift my baby for a long time and I am fearful about how he will perceive this.  Will he be confused and think I do not want to care for him?  His daddy and other family and friends will have to put him to bed, put him in is high chair, change his diapers and dress him.  I hope he forgets about that month or two when his mommy couldn’t be there for him as she’d like to be, but remembers he was loved by many folks and those people had to step in and help him. I hope he appreciates them and forgives me. My friend offered a few suggestions as to how to care for the baby after surgery; she suggested I feed the little guy at the coffee table instead of trying to lift him into his high chair.  Another friend suggested I can change diapers on the floor or a couch that he can climb up on to, so this helps my frantic mind a bit.

I am disappointed about not being able to attend my older son’s sporting and school events. He understands what is going on, but I hate not being able to drive him to school and pick him up from practice for over a month.  However, in reality the pain and illness have certainly stopped me from going to pick him up at school and attend every event I would have like to.  It is horrible to not be able to do what I usually do, but like I said before I know he “gets it”.  I do hope he forgives me too.